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This programme contains
some strong language

2
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SHE CACKLES

3
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Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE


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6
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7
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Electric candles.

8
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Er, under the sink.

9
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Blankets. Oh, that's a tough one.
I'm going to go with...

10
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..on the beds. Final answer.

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We should run a bath.
We don't want to run out of water

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if the power goes. Cathy,
we're preparing for a storm,

13
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not Armageddon.
Storm of the century, Mammy.

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What part of this
are you not grasping?!

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Batteries for the torches?
Oh, er, in the cupboard.

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CATHY SIGHS
Cathy, if those batteries run low,

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can we use this?
BUZZING

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Mammy!

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Mammy!
BUZZING SLOWS DOWN AND STOPS

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Give it to me.
Oh, you want that, all right.

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I will check for extra blankets.

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That's what you say
you're going to do.

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Well, welcome to the madness.

24
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The weather here's been terrible,
and there's worse to come.

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There's a big storm on the way. But
the real disaster is not the storm,

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it's this, my kettle.
It's knackered.

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I don't know what it is
about this house,

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but every time the weather changes,
this house goes to shite.

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ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Mrs Brown's...

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RECORD SCRATCH
See what I mean?

31
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All right, Ma?
Hello, Mark, love.

32
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Everything OK? Ah, well,
apart from Hurricane Cathy.

33
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She running around?

34
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Oh, like a greyhound
with an onion up his arse.

35
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She's just nervous, Ma.
You know, the surgery. Yeah...

36
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I'll see if I can calm her down.
All right, love. Thanks, love.

37
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It's nothing serious, it's just
a thing on her vocal cords.

38
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She won't even be kept in.

39
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It's Captain Birdseye.

40
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BING-BONG!

41
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Ladies and gentlemen,
this is your captain speaking.

42
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We'll be landing in Dublin
in about ten minutes.

43
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The weather is pretty cold, so
if you do take it out, wrap it up.

44
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That's very good, Der. What's that?

45
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Oh, that's Buster's.
"I'm Philomena Fly Me!"?

46
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SULTRY MUSIC PLAYS

47
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Why couldn't you be the air hostess?

48
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With my legs? Get real, Buster.

49
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Fair enough. Well,
what's all this about, Dermot?

50
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We landed a juicy contract

51
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to promote Air Fungus's
tenth anniversary.

52
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Oh. Very nice. Yeah, but now they
cancelled it because of the storm.

53
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Oh... That's sad.
So, what was your pitch?

54
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Hardly matters now, Ma, does it?
We're out of work.

55
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It matters to me, son.
Fine...

56
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"Look up there.
Is it a bird? Is it Superman?

57
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"No, it's a plane."

58
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Oh, I see what you did there!
That's very good, very good.

59
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in the sky

60
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61
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over the wings!

62
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63
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safe and sound, fly Air Fungus

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65
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66
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I'll have the chicken.

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LAUGHS

68
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Very good, Dermot, very good.
Oh, thank God it's cancelled,

69
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because that was shite.
So, what are you doing here?

70
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Just dropped in to see if Cathy
needs a lift to the hospital.

71
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Oh, Mark beat you to it already.
Oh! All right, Dermot. Hey, Mark-o.

72
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Well, hello there, young lady.

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Chicken or beef?

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Oh, it's you, Buster.
Shut up, Mark, you knew it was me.

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Mark, just because somebody
puts on women's clothes

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doesn't make them a woman,
all right? Exactly! The...

77
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Feck off!

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Right, Mark, let's go.

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Look, I'll barely be able to talk
for a week after this,

80
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so I'll say happy birthday
to you now, Buster.

81
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Oh, it's your birthday? Not till
Wednesday. But thanks, Cathy.

82
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I got to go.
Good luck, love.

83
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I'll have the beef, please.

84
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Chicken.

85
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We're out of beef.

86
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Sharon? Yes, Grandad? Ask
that lovely young lady over there

87
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what she's drinking.

88
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Grandad, I don't actually think
she's a lady.

89
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All the better.

90
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Damien! Over here.

91
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Here, Buster, Grandad thinks
you're a woman.

92
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He wants to know
what you're drinking.

93
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HE KISSES

94
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No, thank you, Sharon.

95
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It's a free drink.

96
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Sharon?

97
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So, have you decided what you're
getting Buster yet for his birthday?

98
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I already got it.
Did you? What?

99
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He always said he'd love to do
a parachute jump, so I booked it.

100
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Fantastic! For when? His birthday.
Wednesday? Yeah.

101
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That's when the storm is due in.

102
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Maria, it cost me 500 euro.
I don't care if a tornado hits...

103
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..he's jumping out of that plane.
Anyway, it's always windy up there.

104
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Excuse me? Can you help me?
I'm lost.

105
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YOU'RE lost? I'm supposed
to be in Canada.

106
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DOGS BARK

107
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Are you OK, Sister?
Lord be with you.

108
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And also with you.
Are you lost? Yes.

109
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Come on, let's get you out of here.

110
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Was your Redser romantic, Agnes?

111
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Romantic? The last time
we made love...

112
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..it was an hour and a half.
WINNIE GIGGLES

113
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He woke me up twice.

114
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AGNES CHUCKLES

115
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I asked him once, "Why do you never
buy me flowers?"

116
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He said, "I didn't even buckin' know
you sold flowers."

117
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And what about your husband, Birdie?

118
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Which one? I've had three.

119
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Any one of them.
Hard to say.

120
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It's hard to be sexy for them coming
home when you've had seven babies.

121
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You said it, Birdie.

122
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Redser said to me one night,
"Why don't we change position?"

123
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Kinky!
AGNES CHUCKLES

124
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I said, "OK, well, you stand
by the ironing board

125
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"and I'll lie on the couch
watching telly."

126
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Ah, men. Can't live with them...

127
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That's it.

128
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WIND HOWLS

129
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Oh, Mrs Brown, it's really blowing
out there. I can hear it.

130
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You want a cup of tea, Maria?
No, I'm actually on my way

131
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down to Foley's to help Sharon
set up for the quiz night.

132
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You're not going out in that.

133
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I'll be fine, Mrs Brown.
WIND HOWLS

134
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The weather warning said

135
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the worst is not going to hit
till midnight tomorrow.

136
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No, no, I'm talking about
your clothes.

137
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:45,880
You look like
you're buckin' homeless.

138
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,039
I just popped in
to see how Cathy is.

139
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Oh, Dr Flynn is up there
with her now. She's grand.

140
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A bit sore, but grand.

141
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Ah, hello, Maria.
How is she?

142
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Er, still a bit sore.
To be expected.

143
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But I've given her
something to help her sleep.

144
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Dr Flynn, who's paying you?
Er, you are, Mrs Brown.

145
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That's right, yeah.
So I get to ask the questions.

146
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Indeed.
So, how is she?

147
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Still a bit sore. To be expected.

148
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:17,839
Oh.

149
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She's still a bit sore.
To be expected.

150
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:24,999
And? And I've given her
something to help her sleep.

151
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And he's given her
something to help her sleep.

152
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Thank you. Dismissed.

153
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,239
Right, I'm off, then.

154
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Oh, and Cathy should only speak
when necessary.

155
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Oh, I've been saying that to her
all her life.

156
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:44,039
Oh, Doctor? Erm, could you
drop me off at Foley's, please?

157
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:48,119
Certainly. I'll see you, Mrs Brown.
I'll see you, love.

158
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WIND HOWLS

159
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Whoo!

160
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:08,439
Hello, boys. Cup of tea?

161
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,359
Love one, Mammy. I'm gasping.
Yeah, well, you can't have one.

162
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:14,359
Me kettle's smashed.
Why'd you bother offering, then?

163
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,440
Force of habit. I just want
to drop up and say hi to Cathy.

164
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:21,760
So, Buster, are you looking forward
to your parachute jump?

165
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:26,800
DOORBELL

166
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,439
Come in, Father Damien.
Mammy's in the kitchen.

167
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:34,720
Lord be with you.
And also with you.

168
00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:39,079
Just tell him that you don't want
to do it. He says I have to do it

169
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:41,440
or he's going to throw me
out the plane himself.

170
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:45,839
Ah, hello, Father Damien.
Trevor's not here. He's downtown.

171
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,399
He's trying to get some of
the homeless into the shelters,

172
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,959
out of the storm. I know,
and I want to go help him.

173
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,999
This is Sister Mary.
Hello, Sister.

174
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Lord be with you.
BOTH: And also with you.

175
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Could you look after her
while I go help Trevor? Of course.

176
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,399
We'll have a good old chat.
That's the thing, Mrs Brown -

177
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she doesn't say a lot.
What do you mean?

178
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,360
Lord be with you.

179
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:09,679
BOTH: And also with you.

180
00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:11,759
That's it. That's all she says.

181
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,119
Hello again, Sister.

182
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:16,320
Lord be with you.
ALL: And also with you.

183
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:20,599
Lovely. It is, until you've heard it
a thousand times.

184
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,559
That's all she says.
Oh, dear. I know!

185
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:25,679
I don't know who she is,
where she comes from,

186
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:27,999
what she's doing here,
and she says nothing.

187
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,800
My kind of woman!

188
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,480
Shut up, Buster!

189
00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:41,159
You leave it to me, Father.
I'll get her talking.

190
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,159
I was going to be a nun, you know?

191
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,959
THEY ALL LAUGH

192
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,439
Now that's a lie, for sure.
No, it's not.

193
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,199
May the Lord strike me down.

194
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,240
THUNDER CRASHES

195
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,440
God, that was close.

196
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,639
Father...

197
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,639
Father Damien?
Where are you, Father Damien?

198
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,840
I'm here!

199
00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:11,600
Father, get in here! Can we sort out
what we're doing with Sister Mary?

200
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:15,359
Come quick! Winnie's been
struck by lightning!

201
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,920
HEROIC MUSIC PLAYS

202
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,360
CRASH!

203
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:36,960
Lord be with you.

204
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,719
CATHY SHRIEKS UNINTELLIGIBLY

205
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,560
Huh?

206
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:51,279
SPEAKING WITH DIFFICULTY:
What...happened?!

207
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,200
LOUDLY: Winnie!
She got struck by lightning!

208
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,399
Lord be with you.

209
00:12:58,400 --> 00:12:59,759
ALL: And also with you.

210
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:01,919
SHE SHRIEKS
Huh? What?

211
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,679
Who's...this?!

212
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,360
LOUDLY: It's a nun!

213
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,759
Buster, she can't talk,
she's not deaf.

214
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,679
Lord be with you.
ALL: And also with you.

215
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:14,559
Dr Flynn is close by.
How close?

216
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,040
Backstage.

217
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,719
DOORBELL
That'll be him now. I'll get it.

218
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:22,159
WINNIE GROANS

219
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,879
She's coming round.
She's coming round.

220
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,400
Well done, Winnie. Winnie! Winnie!

221
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:32,000
Nah, she's gone again.

222
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,039
Maybe she needs mouth-to-mouth.

223
00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:40,759
I'll do it.
No!

224
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:42,119
It's OK, I'm here.

225
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:45,279
Lord be with you.
ALL: And also with you...

226
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,559
Father, get rid of her, will you,
before we go insane?

227
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:51,359
Come on, Sister Mary, let's go
find out where you come from.

228
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:52,839
Lord be with you.

229
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:55,759
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Also with you.

230
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:59,439
Buster, we'd better go too. You have
your pre-jump class to do. Come on.

231
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,720
Dermo, do I have to?
Of course.

232
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:07,199


233
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,160


234
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:16,399
Has anyone tried grounding her?
No, Doctor, sorry.

235
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,480
Winnie? You're grounded.

236
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,719
Not like that. Stand back.

237
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,840
Winnie, you're grounded!
Go to your room.

238
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,119
Oh!

239
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,759
Good job, Doctor.

240
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:35,719
Well, ten years of medical school
didn't go to waste.

241
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:37,359
I thought it was just five years.

242
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,839
For most people, yeah.

243
00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,119
Winnie! Can you hear me?!

244
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,240
The dogs in the street
can feckin' hear ya.

245
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,119
Why do I smell burning?

246
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,230
Because you were on fire, Winnie.
Oh, God!

247
00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:55,279
How is your vision, Mrs McGoogan?
Oh, calm down, Dr Flynn.

248
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:59,519
The electrical current travelled
over the surface of my body

249
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,559
and not through my vital organs.

250
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,719
SHRIEKS: She's in shock!
Exactly.

251
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:08,959
On the contrary, Doctor,
my rubber soles acted as insulators,

252
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:13,039
dispersing the charge
harmlessly into the ground.

253
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:14,679
Did she say buckin' insulators?

254
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:15,919
CATHY SHRIEKS

255
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:19,479
Oh just...just nod yes or shake no.

256
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,199
Mammy!
Huh?

257
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,919
She said, "Mammy."
I know, I buckin' heard her.

258
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:27,359
Anyway, any chance of a cuppa
now the panic is over?

259
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,839
Priorities, Birdie.
We have a char-grilled Winnie there.

260
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:32,799
And anyway, me kettle is knackered.

261
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:36,560
Oh, boil the water on the cooker,
Agnes. That's a good idea.

262
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,519
I never thought of that.

263
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:44,119
Mrs Brown? I think Mrs McGoogan
has become more intelligent.

264
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,640
Well, just less stupid.

265
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,919
You were lucky, Winnie.
Well... You were.

266
00:15:56,920 --> 00:16:00,279
Sure, did you see the damage
the lightning did to the chip shop?

267
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:03,279
Fresh cod and battered burgers
all over the place.

268
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,360
And only half of them were edible.

269
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,279
Did you know that the cod they use
is frozen

270
00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:14,480
so it can't be called fresh
when it's been frozen?

271
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,199
AUDIENCE: Ooh...!

272
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,960
I say they'll take that up
at the next EU conference.

273
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,280
It's like listening to
the news headlines.

274
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:30,599
It's not the same, is it,
without me kettle? Mm.

275
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:34,319
Father Damien says he's tracked down
where the nun came from. Oh?

276
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:37,719
Oh, yes, that's right. Yeah,
they're picking her up tonight.

277
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,479
Hilary Nicholson is not going
to the quiz night tonight.

278
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:42,319
Well, you know why that is.

279
00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:45,720
The...the entry fee.
As tight as a duck's arse, that one.

280
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:50,959
Well, interesting fact, Agnes.

281
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,800
Ducks don't have
watertight backsides.

282
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,039
AUDIENCE: Ooh!
Really?

283
00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,999
I'll sleep better now, knowing that.

284
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,999
You learn something new every day.
Yeah.

285
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,039
NORMAL VOICE:
What are you talking about?

286
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:07,440
Oh! Er, a duck's arse does leak.
Who knew?

287
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,479
OK...

288
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:12,279
Wait a minute, you're talking.

289
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,079
Yep. Still a bit sore, but...

290
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,040
I was enjoying the peace and quiet.

291
00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:20,080
I heard that!

292
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,839
Right, I changed the plug
and the power cable.

293
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,760
It should be as good as new, Ma.
Ah, well done, son.

294
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,719
Nope, no light.
I'll get you a new one.

295
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,439
Ah, I don't want a new one, Mark.
It's not the same.

296
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:42,679
You have two choices, Ma,
a new kettle or a flaming kettle.

297
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,039
Take your pick.

298
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,480
He could try replacing the element.

299
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:52,999
Mark, try replacing the element.

300
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,919
I never thought of that.
Great idea, Ma. No problem.

301
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,759
Then again, that could cost
just as much as a new one.

302
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:01,599
What to do?

303
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,839
Replace it.

304
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:06,200
Replace the element. Final answer.

305
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,760
Thank you all for coming early!
That's what me girlfriend says.

306
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:21,960
What girlfriend?

307
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:24,640
Pam.

308
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,799
You're so childish.
Yeah, I know.

309
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,999
Buster, Winnie got
every question right.

310
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,919
Ask Sharon for her calculator.

311
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,279
And the winners are...

312
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,479
..the Reluctant Virgins!

313
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,920
CHEERING

314
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:45,039
Congratulations, Mammy!
Thanks, Sharon, love.

315
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,319
Winnie, you answered
every single question.

316
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,879
I know, I know.
Even the geography one.

317
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:55,319
Well, Agnes, everyone knows that the
capital of Mongolia is Ulaanbaatar.

318
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,839
AUDIENCE: Ooh!

319
00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:00,399
No, Winnie,
everyone doesn't know that.

320
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,839
And before the lightning strike,
you didn't even know

321
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:04,920
what the capital of Ireland was.

322
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:09,359
Winnie, we are now your managers.

323
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:13,119
Of what? She's a genius, Ma,
she has to be handled carefully.

324
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:16,040
A genius?
Who wants to get rich?

325
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,479
Well, I can't speak for Winnie,

326
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:23,879
but I'd settle for
moderately comfortable. Watch this.

327
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:27,240
Winnie, what's the square root
of 289?

328
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,879
It's 17.

329
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,480
Buster, calculator.

330
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,239
Mammy, if you would be so kind...

331
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,920
What does that say?

332
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,840
Boobies.

333
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,320
Gets me every time.

334
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,640
17 is correct, Ma.

335
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:54,079
We need to put a plan in place.
TV quiz shows. Exactly.

336
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,719
The Chase, Pointless...

337
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,119
Eggheads, The 1%...

338
00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:58,199
Ha!

339
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,120
BOTH: Millionaire!

340
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:04,639
Looks like you're going to be
busy. Yeah.

341
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,160
Boobies!
SHE LAUGHS

342
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,559
Agnes? Sharon and I are terrified
about this hurricane.

343
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,519
Any chance we could come over
to yours just to wait it out?

344
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:20,759
Yeah, of course. Oh, that'll be fun,
all of us in the one place,

345
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,199
before the hurricane.
What do you mean?

346
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,639
Well, you don't think me and Enzo
are going to sit on our own

347
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,000
in our own place, do you?
Fine...

348
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:33,079
Well, it turns out
Sister Mary's not a Sister at all.

349
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:36,679
What? No?! She's a resident
at St Martin's care home.

350
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:40,000
She just woke up one morning, put on
the nun's habit and walked out.

351
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:43,680
You shouldn't get into the habit.

352
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,279
The nuns are coming to
collect her tonight.

353
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,399
Well, if they're coming to
collect her tonight,

354
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,919
don't let them drive back until
that hurricane has gone. Good idea.

355
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:58,400
Damien! Mammy said the nuns
can stay at hers tonight.

356
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,639
I never said that!

357
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,400
You kind of did, Agnes.

358
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,600
WIND HOWLS

359
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:16,959
Suffering Jesus!
It's wild out there.

360
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:20,519
Fun, though, isn't it, Ma?
And us all cosy in here.

361
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,879
No! I'm living on me buckin' nerves.
Me too, Agnes.

362
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:27,039
Well, we'll be all right, Birdie,
won't we? We'll be all right. Yeah.

363
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,079
THUNDER CRASHES, BIRDIE CRIES OUT

364
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:33,719
Jesus, Birdie! You frightened
the shyness out of me.

365
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:37,639
There's another tree down. I don't
need a running commentary, Grandad.

366
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,639
It fell on a car. Nice one, too.

367
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,799
I may as well be talking
to the buckin' wall.

368
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,479
Did you fix me kettle?
I put a new element in it, Ma.

369
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:50,000
Took me ages. Didn't exactly fit,
but I got it in.

370
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:55,159
The boys are out for the count
up there. Are they warm enough?

371
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:58,399
Yeah. Thanks, this is lovely,
all of us under one roof.

372
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,879
Yes, well, provided the roof
doesn't come in on us.

373
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,599
THEY LAUGH POLITELY
Maria, do me a favour, will you?

374
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,680
Keep an eye on Birdie.
She's very nervous.

375
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:12,119
Winnie's Wisdom.
Sounds good, doesn't it?

376
00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:14,840
ANGUISHED MOOING

377
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,919
I like it.

378
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,719
First, we have to build up
the brand - one-on-one consults,

379
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:25,639
word of mouth. It's called
developing your customer base.

380
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:31,119
I know that, Enzo, son. I'm really
intelligent now, you know?

381
00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:34,199
But once we get some press coverage,
you're going to be huge.

382
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:37,599
I'm talking newspaper articles,
television interviews.

383
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,599
But the big money-maker? Yeah?
Television quiz shows.

384
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,439
Ooh...

385
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:46,679
Enzo, you know Dermot and Buster
are already managing Winnie?

386
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:50,839
They're completely wrong for her,
Cathy. And you would know this how?

387
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,759
I'll have you know, Cathy,
that in school

388
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:55,799
my teachers called me exceptional.

389
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,240
Are you sure they didn't say
special?

390
00:22:58,241 --> 00:23:01,319
Where are Dermot and Buster, anyway?

391
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,399
Dermot took Buster down to
the airport for his parachute jump.

392
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:06,519
In this weather?!
I know!

393
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,320
I bet Dermot got it half-price
because of the storm!

394
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,959
Well? How are the sandwiches coming?

395
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,520
Good. What do you think?
Enough there?

396
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,320
Right, well, that'll do
Enzo and Birdie.

397
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,000
Now make some for the rest of us.
AGNES CACKLES

398
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,839
WIND HOWLS
This way, Sisters.

399
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,239
Here, Einstein, put the kettle on.

400
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,599
Or is that too menial a job
for a genius?

401
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,159
Shut up, you.

402
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,239
I'm listening, son.

403
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:43,639
Dermot will probably charge you 20%,
but I'm looking at a very fair...

404
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:44,840
..15.
15?

405
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,479
BANG!
Jesus!

406
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:51,720
ELECTRICITY CRACKLES
Jesus, Winnie, are you OK?

407
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:57,599
I'm fine, Agnes. Oh!
It's just a shock. Ooh...

408
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,159
And you know what they say...

409
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:03,120
..it's only a shock
if a kangaroo does it.

410
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,279
No, Winnie, nobody says that.

411
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,319
No? Winnie...?
Yeah?

412
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,239
What's the capital of Mongolia?

413
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:14,639
Oh, er, I don't know, Agnes.

414
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:16,360
Is it Texas?

415
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,439
What's the square root of 400?

416
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,559
Numbers don't have roots!

417
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,400
They're not weeds.

418
00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:26,559
Uh-oh. I'm out.

419
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:30,640
Winnie... Yeah? Sit down there
and make yourself comfortable.

420
00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:36,079
Winnie is back!
AUDIENCE CHEERS

421
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:37,840
What the fu...

422
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:40,999
I go in to check on sandwiches

423
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,440
and come out to
the cast of The Sound Of Music.

424
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:48,839
Lord be with you.
ALL: And also with you.

425
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,319
Mammy, you said they could stay here
till the storm passes.

426
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:52,719
Yeah, I said stay here,

427
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:54,879
but I didn't mean "here" here.

428
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:56,799
DOOR SLAMS

429
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:58,599
Heavens to Murgatroyd!

430
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,279
Is Buster here?
He was with you.

431
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:04,710
I was waiting for him at the landing
spot, but he got blown off course.

432
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,639
Are you surprised?
It's blowing a gale out there.

433
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:13,279
I followed him in me car.
I lost him over the village.

434
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:16,879
Well, he's not here. I'll tell you,
if he drops in, I'll call you.

435
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:18,800
CRASH!

436
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,520
AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS

437
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,160
I'm OK.

438
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:40,159


439
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,959
ALL:

440
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:48,799


441
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,759


442
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,400
CATHY: Hip hip!
ALL CHEER

443
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,519
Well, what a week that's been.

444
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,239
Winnie's back.
That's the good news.

445
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,959
And she's just...herself,

446
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,159
if it is good news.

447
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,439
Oh, and once the storm passed,

448
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,879
the Sisters went back to Galway
with Mary.

449
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,439
You should've seen them going!
It was like

450
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:22,000
five little penguins in the car.
SHE CHUCKLES

451
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:26,679
Oh, and Cathy's voice is back,
unfortunately.

452
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,999
You know...that storm reminded me

453
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:33,879
of the Covid times. You know,
when we all came together.

454
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,199
AUDIENCE: Awww!

455
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,999
It'd be nice, you know,
if we could all just come together

456
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:42,719
without a storm
or a feckin' pandemic,

457
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:46,799
just because we wanted to. Mm, yeah.

458
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,559
You know, my mother used to say...

459
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:52,120
SHE SPEAKS FAKE IRISH

460
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:58,319
And I would look at her
lovingly and I'd say...

461
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,199
.."Mammy...

462
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,880
"..I think it's time to go back
to the fuckin' home."

463
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,119
Goodnight!

464
00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:10,840

of Dublin town

465
00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:17,040

she wears the crown

466
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,679


467
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,959


468
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:30,399

life get her down

469
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,439


470
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,039


471
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:36,599
Goodnight!

472
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:39,520


473
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:44,679
Goodnight, Buster.

474
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:46,880
Night-night, Mrs Brown.

475
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:55,480
Hello?

476
00:27:57,880 --> 00:27:59,559
Hello?!

477
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,800
SHE CACKLES

478
00:28:01,850 --> 00:28:06,400
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